now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
