i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
