can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
