I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
