Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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