Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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