Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
