I am puke
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
where does the pee come out of this thing
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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