She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
