I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
