I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
