mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
