I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
