OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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