real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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