What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
