It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
