none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
