My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
