I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
