His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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