He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
