whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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