i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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