Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
