Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
