her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
