We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
