K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
