My friends, they love my intelligence
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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