I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
