The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
