i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
