im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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