whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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