Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
