it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize