she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
