return my video game
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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