Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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