All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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