also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
