dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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