Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
