wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
