as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
