ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
