the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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