Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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