flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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