She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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