honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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