A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
