She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
